Excuse me while i die of laughter
This gif is my life
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Aw shit I overslept and now I’m stuck with this fucker. :c
what the fuck tumblr
*in raspy crab voice*
“So the doctor says to me ‘Crab, you gotta quit the smokes.’ He says I could get cancer and die. Can you believe this douchebag? There is one thing that keeps me going in this pathetic crab life of mine. One thing that is always there for me.
I have nothing else. Do you see any lady crabs around here? I don’t even know which ones are the ladies. They don’t have vaginas. They don’t have boobs. I started making out with this crab once and things were getting heavy. I’m like, ‘So what’s your name, baby?’ And they respond, ‘Larry.’ That bastard said his name was Larry. You know what I did after that?
I smoked a goddamn cigarette, that’s what.”
today in theater someone asked my friend if he was pro gay and he was like “im not pro gay but im not amateur gay either”
So this just happened on my dash guys
Ladies and Gentlemen, Elijah Wood.
reblog if you’re satan
the fucking notes what the fuck is this website
we’re all Satan
and in that moment, i swear we were Satan